Can A Divorce Lawyer Also Be A Mediator? Understanding the Difference
When couples begin exploring divorce mediation, they often want one thing above all else: a peaceful process. Many people hope to avoid courtroom conflict, reduce legal expenses, and find a respectful way to move forward, especially when children are involved. As they search for support, they may come across mediators who are also divorce attorneys. That raises an important question: Can a divorce lawyer trained to advocate for clients truly serve as a neutral mediator? The answer is yes, attorneys can become mediators, and many do. But it is also important for clients to understand that the role of a mediator is fundamentally different from the role of a lawyer. This article is for general educational purposes only and is not legal advice. Anyone considering divorce should consult with a licensed attorney regarding their specific situation.
The Lawyer Role: Zealous Advocacy for One Person
A divorce attorney is trained to represent one client. Their professional responsibility is to advocate for that client’s best interests, which may involve legal strategy, negotiation, and preparing for litigation if necessary. This is not a negative thing. In many cases, strong legal advocacy is essential, especially when there is high conflict, financial complexity, or safety concerns. But advocacy is, by design, one sided.
The Mediator Role: Neutral Support for Both People
Mediation works differently. A mediator does not represent either spouse. Instead, the mediator serves as a neutral facilitator who helps both parties communicate, exchange information, and work toward mutually acceptable agreements. A mediator does not decide outcomes or push for one person’s position. The goal is not to win, but to reach voluntary, informed decisions that both spouses can live with.
Why This Difference Matters for Clients
The challenge is that the skills of advocacy do not always translate automatically into neutrality. Even when an attorney mediator has the best intentions, clients should understand that it can be difficult to fully step out of the advocate mindset. Clients may wonder, is this person truly neutral? Are they guiding the conversation evenly? Do they seem to favor one spouse’s perspective? Are they giving legal opinions instead of facilitating discussion? In mediation, even subtle perceptions of imbalance can undermine trust.
Legal Advice vs Mediation Support
One of the most important distinctions is that mediators cannot provide legal advice. A mediator may offer education about the divorce process, help organize financial information, and support productive communication. But a mediator should not tell either spouse what they should do legally, what a judge will decide, or what is best for them personally. Clients should always feel free to consult independent attorneys alongside mediation for legal guidance.
Questions Clients Can Ask Before Choosing a Mediator
If you are considering working with a mediator who is also an attorney, it is appropriate to ask, do you represent either spouse in any capacity? How do you maintain neutrality? Will you provide legal advice or only facilitation? Do you encourage independent legal counsel? What training do you have specifically in mediation, not just law? A good mediator will welcome these questions and answer transparently.
The Goal: A Balanced, Respectful Process
At the Center for Divorce Resolution, we believe mediation works best when both parties feel heard, informed, and supported. Mediation is not about one spouse winning and the other giving in. It is about creating durable agreements through transparency, structure, and mutual decision making. It is important to note that the Center for Divorce Resolution is not a law firm. We do not provide legal advice or legal representation. Our role is to facilitate productive conversation and help clients reach voluntary agreements. Many clients also choose to consult with independent attorneys alongside mediation.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is a major life transition, and choosing the right professionals matters. Whether you work with a lawyer, a mediator, or both, understanding the difference between advocacy and neutrality can help you make informed decisions and protect the integrity of your process. A peaceful divorce is possible, but it begins with clarity about each person’s role.
Disclaimer
The Center for Divorce Resolution is not a law firm. Our services are educational and facilitative in nature. We do not provide legal advice or legal representation. Readers should consult with a licensed attorney regarding their specific legal situation.