What's on Your Divorce Picnic Menu This Summer?
Summer is here. The grills are fired up, picnic tables are filling with food, and everyone seems to have an opinion about the perfect cookout menu.
Some people go all out with brisket, ribs, and every side dish imaginable. Others prefer burgers and hot dogs. Some keep it simple and focus on good company and enjoying the day.
Interestingly, divorce works much the same way.
When couples decide to divorce, they often don't realize they have options. Many assume there is only one path forward: hiring attorneys and heading to court. In reality, divorce offers several "menu choices," each with different ingredients, costs, timelines, and experiences.
Before you order your divorce entrée, let's take a look at what's on the menu.
Option #1: The Full Litigation Feast
Think of litigation as the twelve-course barbecue competition platter.
It's the biggest, most expensive item on the menu, and it comes with a lot of ingredients:
Financial affidavits
Motions
Counter-motions
Discovery requests
Interrogatories
Depositions
Subpoenas
Pre-trial memoranda
Pre-trial conferences
Court appearances
Trial
In litigation, each spouse hires their own attorney. The court ultimately decides many of the unresolved issues if the parties cannot reach agreements.
Sometimes litigation is necessary, especially in cases involving serious safety concerns, hidden assets, or parties who are unwilling to participate in good-faith negotiations. However, for many families, litigation can become lengthy, stressful, and expensive.
Typical timeline: Approximately 2.5 years
Typical cost: $35,000–$75,000 (or more)
That's a lot of potato salad.
Option #2: The Collaborative Cookout
Collaborative Divorce is like attending a neighborhood barbecue where everyone agrees beforehand that no one is throwing food.
The process typically includes:
Each spouse has their own collaborative attorney
A neutral financial professional
A divorce coach (often with a therapeutic background)
Additional experts as needed
Everyone signs an agreement committing to keep the case out of court and work toward a negotiated resolution.
The collaborative model can be highly effective because it creates a team approach focused on problem-solving rather than courtroom battles.
However, there is one important catch.
If either party decides they want court involvement, the collaborative agreement dissolves. Both spouses must hire new litigation attorneys and essentially start over in a traditional court process.
Typical timeline: 18 months to 2 years
Typical cost: $20,000–$30,000
Think of it as the catered barbecue package—more organized, more collaborative, but still a significant investment.
Option #3: The Mediation Picnic
Mediation is often the family-style picnic option.
Instead of hiring teams of professionals to advocate for each side, the couple works with a neutral mediator whose role is to listen to both parties' needs, wants, concerns, and goals.
The mediator does not make decisions for the couple.
Instead, the mediator helps the couple make informed decisions for themselves.
Topics often include:
Parenting schedules
Decision-making for children
Child support
Division of assets and debts
Retirement accounts
The family home
Future financial planning
Because the couple is making decisions together, mediation often creates more customized solutions than a judge could provide.
After all, no judge knows your children, your finances, or your family traditions as well as you do.
Typical timeline: Approximately 3 months
Typical cost: Around $5,000
It's the picnic basket approach—efficient, practical, and often surprisingly satisfying.
Don't Forget the Side Dishes
Every great picnic needs side dishes.
One of the biggest misconceptions about mediation is that couples are on their own.
In reality, experienced mediators often have access to a network of trusted professionals who can provide specialized assistance when needed.
At the Center for Divorce Resolution, we frequently connect clients with professionals such as:
Home appraisers
Business valuation experts
Mortgage specialists
Divorce coaches
Career and job coaches
Realtors for buying or selling homes
Financial professionals
These experts help provide the information couples need to make confident decisions without turning every question into a legal battle.
Think of them as the baked beans, corn on the cob, watermelon, and homemade desserts that make the meal complete.
So What's the Right Menu for You?
Just like planning a summer cookout, there isn't one perfect menu for every family.
Some situations require the complexity of litigation.
Others benefit from the team-based structure of collaborative divorce.
Many families discover that mediation provides everything they need in a fraction of the time and cost.
The key is understanding your options before placing your order.
Because when it comes to divorce, the goal isn't to win the cookout.
The goal is to create a resolution that allows everyone to move forward with dignity, stability, and enough energy left to enjoy the rest of summer.
If you're considering divorce and want to explore your options, the Center for Divorce Resolution can help you understand the menu and determine which approach best fits your family's needs.