FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

The Center for Divorce Resolution is not engaged in rendering legal representation, accounting or tax advice. If legal representation, accounting, or tax assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

am I ready for divorce mediation?

To prepare yourself for divorce mediation, it is important first to get your emotions under control. This is not the time to be hurtful, cruel, rude, etc. A successful mediation will be done in the most positive light that both parties can bring. Don’t be afraid to consult with a therapist.

A good mediator will ask you to express your particular needs, wants and desires. Don’t be afraid to put your concerns on the table. You could do this in writing. In fact, it’s recommended. Just because you’re not looking to argue doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come with a list of things that you strongly believe you shouldn’t back down from.

A good mediator will help you to negotiate, not argue. Arguing is not going to get either party anywhere. Prepare your thoughts and let the mediator help you negotiate.

You can ask to speak privately with the mediator. If you have concerns that you can’t share in front of your spouse, you have options. Don’t let that get the best of you, but rather, ask to speak to your mediator individually. A good mediator will recognize, too, when it is appropriate to separate both of you and speak individually about what’s on your mind.

Simple Steps to Prepare for Mediation:

Educate yourself on the divorce process.
Bring organized financial documents if you can. Your mediator will guide you on what you need to collect.
During mediation, you will work on planning a post-divorce budget. If you don’t know how much money you need and how much you spend, it will be hard to have a solid understanding of what you’re negotiating for.
Ask your mediator for a list of mediation-friendly attorneys to advise you and help you learn about your rights and obligations. Choose a family divorce attorney who will have your best interest in mind and fully understands your goal is having a short, inexpensive stress-free divorce process.

What is the Center for Divorce Resolution?

We provide divorce mediation through a non-confrontational, private, constructive dialogue, designed to increase peace and offer genuine options, while recognizing the impact divorce has on children and finances of all parties involved. Our holistic approach provides direction and a time-sensitive pathway, while providing the much-needed emotional and planning support to couples and families as they navigate the realities of divorce.

WHICH COSTS MORE? MEDIATING OR LITIGATING DIVORCE?

In almost all cases, mediating a divorce saves a lot of money. A mediated divorce typically ranges from $3,000 to $9,000. A litigated divorce, on the other hand, can range from $25,000 to $70,000 or more. And, if a divorce goes to trial, it can range from $75,000 to $200,000 or more.

Why Use MEDIATION?

In mediation, as an alternative to litigation, the goal is to create harmony for all parties and their families, and the financial and emotional security for the parents, as well as the children. Dispute resolution processes (mediation) have several advantages. For instance, many dispute resolution processes are cheaper and faster than the traditional legal process. Certain processes can provide the parties involved with greater participation in reaching a solution, as well as more control over the outcome of the dispute. In addition, dispute resolution processes are less formal and have more flexible rules than the trial court. The attorney role ends with the divorce decree unless there is subsequent litigation. Mediators can continue working with both parties throughout the life of the family members, to support and guide and resolve life changing events that occur within a family over time, such as loss of income, relocation, marriage and growth of a new family. The mediator can help to create balance and harmony in the new normal post-divorce life.

Is My Mediator Qualified?

Mediators shall maintain high standards of competence. Recognizing the boundaries of their competence and the limitations of their techniques, they only provide services or use techniques for which they are qualified by training and experience, using consultation from other professionals, as appropriate.

Do I Need an Attorney to Participate in MEDIATION?

In thinking of divorce, the first thought is to hire an attorney. The initial assumption is that the attorney creates a feeling of safety that the experience will be handled with your best interest, long term and ongoing, with all the “I’s” dotted and “T’s” crossed. In many processes, you are not required to have an attorney to participate. In cases where the court or judge has referred the case to a dispute resolution process, attorneys often participate. The role of an attorney in a dispute resolution process varies depending upon the nature of the dispute and the type of dispute resolution process. In many dispute resolution processes, attorneys accompany their clients and participate either as counselors or as advocates. Neither law nor therapy shall be practiced in mediation. Attorneys should not conduct mediation when their clients have contracted for legal services. Discussion of legal alternatives that develop during the mediation process shall be discussed by the parties with their respective legal representatives for purposes of review and explanation.

Why Do I Need to Go to Court?

When you signed your marriage license, you entered into a civil contract which has provided you the benefits of being able to file joint tax returns, being each other’s healthcare advocates, getting better social security benefits, being the automatic beneficiary of each other’s 401(K) plan and pension plan. In order to get divorced, you must break the civil contract by going back to civil court and dissolving the marriage.

how do I get Divorced? What Do I Need to Prepare?

Along with various Illinois Supreme Court forms, the Judge will be looking for a parenting agreement and certificate of completion from a parenting course, if you have minor children, and a marital settlement agreement, which outlines how you have decided to divide your finances.

Each spouse creates an online account with Odyssey File & Serve - https://illinois.tylerhost.net/ofsweb and files as Pro Se (self-represented);
Find court forms here: https://www.illinoiscourts.gov/forms/approved-forms/forms-circuit-court/divorce-child-support-maintenance
The first spouse (Petitioner) fills out the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage form, then e-Files to receive back a clerk-stamped copy;
The second spouse (Respondent) fills out the Appearance (Response) form, then e-Files to receive back a clerk-stamped copy;
Both spouses fill out the Certificate of Dissolution of Marriage form, then the first spouse e-Files to receive back a clerk-stamped copy;
Both spouses fill out the Stipulation and Request to Hear an Uncontested Prove-Up form, then the first spouse e-Files under Motion to receive a clerk-stamped copy and selects a prove up hearing date with the Judge;
Each spouse takes the Parenting Class and each e-Files to receive stamped Certificates of Completion of the Parenting Class: Cook County - https://divorce-education.com/parent/
Both spouses fill out the Parenting Plan form and the Parenting Allocation Judgment form;
Both spouses create a Marital Settlement Agreement after deciding how they want to divide their finances;
First spouse fills out the Order on Prove-up form;
If in Cook County, the first spouse will fill out the Prove-Up Information form;
If in Lake County, the first spouse will fill out the UCCJEA form;
The first spouse fills out a Court Reporter Sheet with your contact information;
Both spouses fill out the Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage form;
Both spouses fill out the Uniform Order for Support form. You can calculate child support by visiting this webpage: https://www2.illinois.gov/hfs/ChildSupport/parents/Pages/ChildSupportEstimator.aspx
Both spouses will arrange for the creation of a Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDRO), if necessary (see our team page);
Email all of the above to your Judge’s court coordinator 7 business days before your hearing. You can find your judge information by looking on your circuit court website;
You both will attend your Prove Up Hearing.
If in Cook County, the first spouse will receive the court hearing transcript from the court reporter and will e-File within 28 days and receive back a clerk-stamped copy. If in Lake County, the court reporter will e-File the transcript.
That’s it! You’re Divorced!

Do I Get One-Half? Not Necessarily.

When dividing property, most states recognize property under common law, in which marital property is divided 50/50, or community property where all non-marital and marital property is divided 50/50. Illinois is an equitable state, meaning that the marital property may not necessarily be divided 50/50 between the parties. The parties may decide that the property may be divided 60/40 or 55/45 or whatever makes sense for their particular situation.

What About My Pain and Suffering?

Illinois is a no-fault state. The courts don’t need to prove fault of one person or another in adultery, abuse, or habitual drunkenness. The single reason of proof for every divorce in Illinois is irreconcilable differences.

Our Best Advice.

Get a Therapist. This is an emotionally raw time. Become informed about your finances – don’t get scared about asking questions or feeling embarrassed. Find an intermediary to help guide you with the decisions necessary to make before going to court. Resolve your differences and make all the decisions you can before involving the court.