Looking Around the Thanksgiving Table: A Reminder for Blended Families to Protect the People We Love

Every year at Thanksgiving, there is a moment when I sit back, look around the table, and feel the weight of how blessed we are. The people gathered are the people we fight for, sacrifice for, and build new traditions with. For many families like mine, that table includes more than one chapter of life. In the world of divorce mediation, blended families are not unusual. They are an everyday reality, and they come with love, joy, and also some estate planning challenges that most people do not think about until someone asks the hard questions.

As a divorced parent who worked hard to rebuild a life, I remember a moment of clarity during my own estate planning. I realized that I never wanted the portion of my assets that I fought for to ever drift back to my former spouse. My goal has always been simple. I want my children to inherit what I spent years creating and protecting. At the same time, I want my new husband to be supported and cared for if I pass first. These two goals can live together, but only if you plan for them intentionally.

Blended families take many forms, but they often share similar concerns. Here are three situations that come up often, especially for families who want stability and fairness for everyone at the table.

Children from previous marriages

Many people rely on simple wills that leave everything to the surviving spouse. It sounds practical, but it can unintentionally leave children from previous relationships unprotected. A surviving spouse can change a will at any time if the documents do not have the right safeguards. I often work with parents who assume their children will automatically be taken care of, yet without proper planning, that is not guaranteed. A well designed estate strategy can ensure that every child receives what you intend.

When one partner has significantly more assets

Remarriages are common, and in many couples, one partner brings more assets into the new relationship. That is not a problem. It simply requires clarity. A thoughtful estate plan can make sure your wishes are carried out while still caring for your new spouse. It can also prevent misunderstandings during emotionally sensitive times. This is especially important when family histories are complex or when adult children and stepchildren are involved.

Why traditional trusts may not be enough

Traditional trusts are helpful, but in blended families they sometimes fall short. A very effective approach is to create three trusts. One for each spouse and one joint trust. This can protect each partner, safeguard the children from previous relationships, and create a structure that eliminates guesswork if one spouse passes first. It also allows you to put into writing the exact path you want your assets to take.

A good place to begin

If you look around your Thanksgiving table this year and feel grateful for the people who are part of your life story, consider whether your estate plan matches your intentions. A simple document review is often the first step. Blended families can thrive with clear planning, careful communication, and a strategy that honors every chapter of your life.