The Long View: A Divorce Mediation Story, Nine Years Later...

The other night, I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in years at a local restaurant. Let’s call him J.O.

Back in 2016, my very first full year as a divorce mediator, I worked with J.O. and his then-wife, S.O., as they navigated their divorce. At the time, their two daughters were just ten and thirteen years old. Like so many parents sitting across from me in mediation, they were scared, uncertain, and deeply concerned about how their decisions would affect their children.

Can Mediation Keep Families “Together”?

Fast forward nine years.

Their daughters are now nineteen and twenty-two. One has graduated from college. The other is still in school. They are happy, healthy, grounded young women.

And here’s the part that stopped me in my tracks.

J.O. told me that they still have family dinners together. Yes, together. Mom. Dad. Daughters. Sitting around the same table. Talking. Laughing. Staying connected.

This is not the picture most people hold when they imagine divorce.

But it is the picture that divorce mediation makes possible.

J.O. shared that he visits his daughters often and that their family relationships remain strong and open. He also shared something else; he is now dating the love of his life. He looked lighter. Happier. At peace in a way I hadn’t seen before.

What Divorce Mediation Is Really About

As we talked, I was reminded why I chose this work.

Divorce mediation is not about “winning.” It is not about erasing the past or pretending pain didn’t exist. It is about helping families restructure with intention, respect, and communication, so that divorce becomes a transition, not a rupture.

When parents can make decisions together, speak directly to one another, and keep their children at the center of the process, something powerful happens. The family doesn’t disappear. It evolves.

Children grow up knowing they are still held by both parents. They learn that conflict can be handled with dignity. They carry forward a sense of safety and belonging that extends well beyond childhood.

The Lasting Impact of Divorce Mediation

Nine years ago, J.O. and S.O. made hard choices in mediation. They chose cooperation over conflict. They chose long-term family wellness over short-term emotional wins.

Seeing the outcome years later, two thriving daughters, ongoing family connection, and a parent who has found happiness again, was a gift.

It is also a reminder.

Divorce does not have to divide a family forever. With the right support, clear communication, and a commitment to doing things differently, families can remain whole, just in a new way.

That is the quiet power of divorce mediation. And it is why I continue this work, one family at a time.